you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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