Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
