All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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