What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fuck appropriateness.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
