worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
