i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
