i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
