I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
