I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
