I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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