Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
