no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You made out with two different species that night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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