why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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