A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will be naked everywhere
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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