Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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