There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
