I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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