tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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