is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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