Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
