It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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