so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
