Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
