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Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
