So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
