Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
