I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
