ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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