why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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