my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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