I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I believe in your delicious
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
