I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
