dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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