you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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