Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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