THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
