New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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