Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
