You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
