Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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