you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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