I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
