every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
