Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
