508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
