Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
