this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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