How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
