So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
