He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
